Chapter 3: Until You Learn

[Loud The Insane]

Back in Nagano, Sawamura Eijun was dating someone. He fell in love with a boy who promised the world to Eijun. Sawamura didn’t think that dating a boy was bad; he was taught by his family that love was for everyone. So he and this boy dated for a long time, everything was perfect.

Sawamura was sad and didn’t talk that much since his grandmother died. Everyone gave him space since he was very close to his grandma, but there was only one person who was there for him. His boyfriend, his boyfriend always told him that in difficult moments he’ll always be there for him.

“I want us to be together forever, Eijun”

“What are you talking about?”

“I want to marry you when we get older” the boy said. Sawamura blushed and looked away embarrassed, he could hear the other laugh at his cute reaction.

“Don’t say embarrassing stuff, Akira!!”

“Ok… ok…” Akira said between laughs. Then he stopped laughing and looked at Eijun with a serious face, Eijun looked back at him and his eyes soften. Akira got closer to him and smiled softly at him.

“I love you, Eijun…”

“I love you too, Akira…” Sawamura said. The black haired boy kissed Sawamura softly on the lips and Sawamura returned the kiss, they were perfect for each other… or so Sawamura thought. Turns out that Akira was seeing someone else, Sawamura confronted him about that of course. But doing that lead to an argument and sadly the two broke up, though the one who was most hurt was Sawamura. Since then, he promised himself not to fall in love again.

“I like you, Sawamura” Kuramochi said. Sawamura stared at him in shock, he started to panic. What if Kuramochi does the same thing Akira did to him? What if he just gets bored of him? And so many other doubts started to fill Sawamura’s doubts.

“You don’t have to give me an answer… but can you at least come with me somewhere tomorrow? Since… that’s out free day” Kuramochi said looking away, not wanting to see Sawamura’s scared face.

“Ok…” Sawamura said in a hesitantly tone. Kuramochi nodded and walked away to practice his batting, while Sawamura finally reached the bullpen. Everything was normal the rest of the day, Sawamura being his usual self and it was the same for Kuramochi.

It wasn’t until the next day that Sawamura started to feel strange. Sawamura got dressed and was now walking with Kuramochi to the train station, Sawamura expected to feel fear and insecure. But instead he felt at ease and secure around Kuramochi, something he found weird considering how Kuramochi could cheat on him or something.

“Where are we going?”

“To my hometown”

“Ah, I se- wait what!? W-why are we going there?”

“Because we can and we will”

“Kuramochi-senpai!!” Sawamura said in a complaining tone. When they came, Kuramochi dragged Sawamura to different places they could hang out. At the beginning Sawamura was worried and hesitant, but after a while he was having fun and even held hands with Kuramochi. Both of them didn’t give a damn about some people’s dirty look when they held hands, but there was only one place Kuramochi wanted to take Sawamura.

“So why are we sitting here?”

“You’ll see” Kuramochi said. Sawamura lay on the grass next to Kuramochi and looked at the clouds with him, he felt so calm and at ease that this emotion was new to him.

“That cloud looks like a baseball ball”

“Really? That one looks like a Chihuahua”

“Oh look! That one looks like a tree” Sawamura said pointing to the sky. Both of them watched the sunset and Sawamura understood why they were sitting there, Sawamura smiled.

“It’s beautiful”

“Yeah… it is…” Kuramochi said, but he was looking at Sawamura. Sawamura turned to look at him and for what seemed like centuries he felt his heart beat fast.
“w-what are you looking at?”

“Well, duh! I’m looking at you” Kuramochi said. Sawamura blushed at his comment and sit up to calm himself down, Kuramochi sat up too and told Sawamura they needed to go. The way back was quite and awkward, but Kuramochi was happy Sawamura never let go of his hand since they got in the train.

“Did it work?” Haruichi asked Kuramochi when it was time for dinner.

“I think so… probably… hell yes!” Kuramochi said. Haruichi nodded and when he grabbed his food, he went to sit with Furuya and Sawamura who seemed confused yet happy.

The next day started the tournaments and this time they were going to take their coach to Koshien. They just finished a match and now they were going to head back, but Sawamura needed to go to the bathroom before going. He was so focused on trying to figure out why he was been blushing and why his heart beat fast whenever Kuramochi was around or when he cheered for him.

He saw Raichi coming out of the bathroom and if he didn’t stop in time he would have collapsed with him. Raichi and he stared at each other in surprise; Raichi was going to say something but Sawamura beat him to it.

“Can I ask you something?”

“…Sure?”

“If… I didn’t get too close to someone before because of reasons and now there’s someone who wants to get close to me, what should I do? I mean… what if they hurt me or something… but… that person makes me feel secure and… I just don’t know what to do” Sawamura said, his face was as red as a tomato. Raichi blinked and put his hands on Sawamura’s shoulder, Sawamura looked at him surprised.

“What the heck are you asking me for? The answer is right in front of your eyes!!”

“What do you mean?”

“For now… it means that you gotta run and reach out for them before they give up and leave you… you don’t want that, do you?”

“No…”

“THEN GO!!” Raichi said letting go of his shoulders. Sawamura looked confused and alert, he nodded and run back to where his teammates… no, to where Kuramochi was. Raichi looked Sawamura’s back until he couldn’t see it anymore; he felt the presence of another person next to him.

“I didn’t know you give love advice, Raichi”

“S-Sanada-senpai!” Raichi said startled. Meanwhile Sawamura ran and ran; he didn’t even want to pee anymore. He needed to go where Kuramochi was, he needed to reach out and accept the hand that he was giving him to get him out of the darkness. And while he ran, he understood what Raichi meant. He saw his teammates waiting for him, but he only focused on the back with the number 6 on it.

“Kuramochi-senpai!!” He called out. Kuramochi turned to look at him and was surprised when Sawamura hugged him, the others looked surprised too. They were going to start teasing the two, but they heard Sawamura sobbed. Kuramochi was alarmed and thought maybe someone hurt Sawamura, but Sawamura only looked up at him with tears in his eyes and smiling at him he said.

“I’m sorry to make you wait”